


Faith in their Forever

by Kenrune



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, GGWeek2020, mostly fluff tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenrune/pseuds/Kenrune
Summary: “But what if we’re not meant to be parents?” The words spill out of her, like oil in the ocean and now that they’re out there’s no bottling the fear behind them. “What if that’s His will?”The question hangs heavy in the air, looming over them, and Ruby fiddles with the hem of her shirt, trying to make sense of the abstract pattern weaved in the thread, trying to find meaning to the whirls when Stan walks over and kneels down, grabbing her hands in his.“Cmon’ baby, don’t talk like that now. Have faith.” He squeezes her hands, willing her to believe.She has faith, she does but-“But what if Stan. What if.”
Relationships: Ruby Hill/Stan Hill
Comments: 17
Kudos: 212





	Faith in their Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a couple of weeks ago for Good Girl's Week 2020. Was 95% done a week and a half ago and am now finally posting it on the last day ahahahah...I'm sorry. 
> 
> From the prompt: Ruby tells Stan she's pregnant.
> 
> Which is like, at the end LOL but it's about the journey, not the destination, mmkay?
> 
> And look, don't you be judging my Harlequin title. Stuby's love is as sweeping and timeless and you know it.

Ruby stares at the singular blue line, drums her fingers on the counter, _willing_ a second to appear. After a minute, her eyes start to strain and accepting a second line isn’t coming, no matter how much she wills it, she picks up the pregnancy stick and tosses it in the bathroom trash, defeated and disgruntled.

It’d been the eighth consecutive month of negative pregnancy tests after her and Stan decided to finally start trying for a baby. They had waited several years after getting married, wanting to build a home first, get their lives a little more on stable footing, enjoy a child-free marriage, and they were good like that, just the two of them, working towards their dreams, knowing they had time, knowing they had forever.

Until that day, that moment, when everything shifted and suddenly it felt like forever couldn’t come soon enough.

Annie had given birth to Sadie and they had gone to visit her a few days after she got home from the hospital. Ruby had had her hands full helping Beth reorganize the cupboards (“Everything has to be perfect, like you and Stan,” Beth hummed and Ruby had rolled her eyes because what is?).

Annie had suddenly shot up and plopped Sadie into Stan’s arms, claiming she had to change her postpartum diaper, waving him off that he would figure it out like she had to. Her and Beth had curled over laughing at the sheer panic on Stan’s face, holding a newborn Sadie like fragile blown glass, _terrified_ that he would break her.

But as soon as that tiny baby girl wrapped her little fingers around Stan’s, she knew that man was lost.

That moment, he looked up at Ruby, his eyes wide with wonder and something _else_ , something _new_ and it hadn’t needed to be said (it never did), some unspoken agreement passed between them, and when they got home, they made love without protection, and every time after, chasing forever in each other’s arms.

But Ruby hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected how difficult it would be to get pregnant, not when everything else between her and Stan had come so easy.

Sitting in the bathroom now, knowing Stan is on the other side of that door, eager and hopeful, Ruby can’t help but feel the gnawing sense that she had somehow failed him yet again. She groans, eyes darting towards the door. But she can’t stay in here forever.

Gathering up her courage, she exits the bathroom, closing the door behind her with a soft click. She stares at the floor, still not ready to meet Stan’s eyes and see the hope and anticipation she knows is bubbling out of them, fizzle out into disappointment.

“Well?” Stan asks, rubbing his hands together excitedly. Ruby sighs, knowing she can’t avoid it any longer and glances up at him and then away before mumbling out the answer.

“Negative.”

It’s instant. How he jumps up from the bed and strides over to gather her in his arms, pulling her in close, closing the gap between them and the one stretching inside her chest.

“Hey, it’s alright baby. These things take time.” She scoffs into his shoulder because it has taken time- _too_ much time and the reminder of just how long it’s taken digs in deep and hollow. Ruby bites back tears but they pour out any way, streaming down her face and onto the collar of his shirt.

Stan steps back, sweeping her tears away with the pads of his thumb, and then strokes her cheek reassuringly, rubbing warmth into her skin. “C’mon now, with a last name like Hills, it’s only right we experience some up and downs.”

“Oh, he got Dad jokes now.” Ruby tsks a little too bitterly, rolling her eyes but Stan takes her salt like sugar and winks at her.

“Thought I’d start early. Get some practice in.”

Ruby huffs but can already feel her steel resolve to stay mad begin to soften under Stan’s gentle coaxing. He nudges her hip with his own. “What do they say in church? All it takes is a-?”

He patiently waits for her to answer, even when almost a minute passes, until Ruby finally mutters under her breath, trying to hide her smile, “A mustard seed of faith.”

“That’s right. A mustard seed of faith.” He repeats and quirks a brow, smirking in amusement. “And when in doubt?”

Ruby gives him a withering look, because there is _no way_ she is answering _that_ one but Stan’s eyes are full of a mirthful glow and she can’t help but follow it like a lantern out of darkness.

“Pluck it out.” Ruby relents, rolling her eyes, trying to stifle her laugh before she pokes his chest playfully. “I can’t believe you made me finish that cheesy ass line.”

He catches her wrist and tugs her in closer. “It got my baby to smile though, didn’t it?”

Ruby hums, because it had, or rather he had and it’s irritating how he’s able to do it so easily. Make her laugh when she wants to cry, make her smile when she wants to frown. Maybe it’s not so irritating as it is exhilarating.

Her eyes flick up to his and the warm glow in his fires into a heated gaze.

“Besides, we can always try again.” He offers, his grip tightening as he places a kiss on her forehead, “And again,” Her cheek, “And again,” Her neck, his kisses travelling lower and lower still.

And so, they do.

**\----*----**

More months pass yet her womb remains as barren as the hole inside her heart that's been digging deeper since they first started trying. 

Somewhere along the way, that mustard seed of faith though there and however small, was no match for the sprouting seeds of doubt that began to take root in her. And though she tried to pluck the damn things out, with every negative test, the roots went deeper, and her will got weaker, and after yet _another_ negative, something finally breaks inside her.

“ _What are we going to do_?” Ruby shouts, frantic and pacing out of the bathroom and into the living room, for no real purpose other than to make space between her and that singular blue line that is more like a cord wrapped around her neck, suffocating her.

God, she needs _air_.

Stan follows behind her, not too closely though, giving her space to breathe and a part of her hates how he does that, how he knows just what she needs when she needs it, when she doesn’t even know until he does it.

“We keep trying.” He says it like it’s as easy as that but it _isn’t_.

It _hasn’t_ been.

Ruby clenches her fists, tries to ease the tension in her taut muscles as a white hot heat creeps up her spine but she can’t help the burning frustration that comes boiling to the surface, and she whirls around, letting all of it pour out of her in hot, heaving drops.

“We _have_ been trying, Stanley! And _failing_.” She gestures wildly between them before throwing her hands into the air and plunking down onto the couch in defeat. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore. _I can’t take it_. I can’t take the hoping, the praying, the inevitable disappointment with _every_ damn test, _every_ damn time.”

“We gotta trust in His will, baby. We got to.”

“ _But what if we’re not meant to be parents_?” The words spill out of her, like oil in the ocean and now that they’re out there’s no bottling the fear behind them. “What if _that’s_ His will?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, looming over them, and Ruby fiddles with the hem of her shirt, trying to make sense of the abstract pattern weaved in the thread, trying to find meaning to the whirls when Stan walks over and kneels down, grabbing her hands in his.

“Cmon’ baby, don’t talk like that now. Have _faith_.” He squeezes her hands, willing her to believe.

And that’s the thing, she’s _trying_. She _has_ been. Praying every single day and not just before every meal and before bed but in between shifts and in the early hours of dawn before Stan stirs awake beside her. She’s been tithing her ten percent out of every paycheck, even when their bills required the full one hundred to make do. And God _knows_ that she trusted Him to bite her tongue when a customer was rude as hell, sneering down at her as though she was above paying the 30 cent extra dine-in fee on top of a $4.99 breakfast value meal. It took everything in Ruby to clench her teeth and plaster on her best _have a dandy day_ grin, even though that heifer was just asking to catch an unholy fist to the face.

So yeah, she has faith, she _does_ but-

“But what _if_ Stan. What _if_.” Her voice cracks at the last part, the weight of those words slipping into the gaping holes, where doubt settles in.

“Then it’s you and me, baby.” He whispers, pulling them up to their feet, one hand still holding hers, the other reaching up to cup her cheek. “Just like it’s always been, just like it’ll always be.”

“Will it be enough?” She asks. _Will I?_ Her heart whispers.

It’s soft, hidden, burrowed beneath her insecurities but Stan hears it, hears _her_ , fluent in the unspoken language of their love, where the mystery of her is never lost in translation-her heart a lived-in book he reads with ease.

“ _You_ are more than enough, Ruby. If I just got you, baby, I got the world. That’s more than any man could hope to have in a lifetime.” He kisses her forehead, his arms holding her as though she were precious, as though _she_ were his world. “And a lifetime with you means a lifetime of happiness.”

She doesn’t know how he does it. How he steels her, when she’s drowning in her worries, drifting further from him, his love is a lifeline he casts out and he reels her back to him, every time.

“Wait here.”

He walks over to the stereo cabinet and searches through their cd collection, humming when he finds the one he’s looking for. He puts it in the cd player, skipping to the song he wants. Ruby’s squints her eyes, tries to figure out which song he picked, heck what cd he selected but he steps to the side, blocking her view, almost like he knows that she’s trying to peek. She crosses her arms, waiting, and a wide grin breaks across her face when she hears piano keys echo out of the speakers.

“Oh, _okay_ , Breakin’ out some K-Ci & JoJo? Smooth.” Ruby sways her hips, lets her eyes flutter shut as she does, allowing her body to swing to the sound of the music. It’s not more than a few seconds before goosebumps prickle up her neck and she _feels_ it before she sees it, that Stan’s eyes are on her, the warmth of them never far from heating up her skin. She blinks her eyes open to confirm what she already knows and meets Stan’s appraising look head-on, to find he’s only a few steps in front of her.

“Smoother than butter, baby.” Stan says, rocking forward into a glide as though to emphasis his point before offering his hand in invitation. “Come here, girl. Word on the street is you got some moves.”

“Well, the street speaks some truths.” Ruby laughs, taking Stan’s hand as he tugs her towards him. She sinks into his embrace, laying her head on his shoulder and breathes in his cologne-a heady scent of cedarwood and pine that Ruby used to think smelt too strong but has come to feel like home. Closing her eyes, she listens as Stan serenades the lyrics in the shell of her ear, feels his steady but gentle touch stroking her back, and follows as he leads to the sway of the music, in rhythm with the song in her heart.

Stan steps back, grabbing Ruby’s hand to spin her into a twirl before pulling her back in, her back to his front. He twines his hands over hers, rocking gently as he whispers into the nook of her neck, “Just give it time, babe. We got forever.”

_Forever._

The word squeezes around her chest and Ruby remembers a time when forever felt like an open yawning stretch of promise and possibility, before the crushing weight of disappointment and all that came with it.

But it _could_ mean that again.

Forever.

Still, she can’t help clutching Stan closer, her heart whispering out once more.

_God, please don’t let it take forever._

This time, if Stan hears it, he doesn’t say, but he does hold her tighter, firmer, the steady grip of his arms holding her together, keeping the broken pieces of her in place.

**\----*----**

After that night, they stop trying to find out, stop taking test after test, just stop worrying-no longer frantic over something they can’t control, no longer giving _it_ power to control _them_ and the stress falls away like old skin, birthing a newer, stronger them in turn.

Though the thought of _what if_ and _what could be_ niggles at the back of Ruby’s mind when Beth gives birth to Kenny, when the fears and worries threaten to crowd in, Stan throws his lifeline, with a warm smile, or a reassuring squeeze, and keeps their love in front of her, filling her heart with so _much_ that there really isn’t room for her feeling any _less_.

More months go by, then a year, and the seasons shift from summer to fall, fall into winter, and come spring, Ruby begins to feel a fluttering in her stomach. Butterflies, she thinks, because they never really did go away with Stan. But still, they never did quite feel like _this_. Stan comments she has a glow about her and she sees it too but he hums that it must be from the way he lights her up and they laugh as they fall into each other’s arms, pushing out the thought to think much more on it.

It’s when Beth sees her, some days later, that she stops to blink up at Ruby before her eyes begin to twinkle in some secret knowledge. She grabs Ruby’s hand, squeezing it, asking when Aunt Flow ( _Yes, Aunt Flow_ ) last paid her a visit. Ruby’s never been regular, which only added to the stress when her and Stan were trying but when she counts her fingers, she realizes it’s been four months and now that she thinks on it, it’s not usually this _irregular_.

Beth convinces her to take a pregnancy test just to be sure and though Stan’s not with her when Ruby stares at those _two_ blue lines, she can’t help but feel an immeasurable warmth of gratitude that Beth is.

That this is how it was meant to be, since the first moment when her and Annie came crashing into her life ( _literally_ ). That Beth being with her when she first received news of her father’s death could only mean that it could only be her beside her when she receives news of her child’s life.

It is as her father always said: _the circle is complete._  
  


They weep together over a glass of sparkling water not wine, because she’s _expecting_ but Beth can’t stay too long, apologizing profusely because she still has to go home and cook Dean dinner. Ruby doesn’t understand why that man can’t just buy a damn happy meal but she bites her tongue, knows better than to bring too much attention to all the ways in which Dean is incapable of taking care of himself. Annie does that enough for the both of them.

And though she's not quite ready for Beth to leave, she pushes down the sadness, does her best to mask it, and gets up to say goodbye, hugging Beth before walking her out to her car.

As Beth’s just about to pull out in reverse, with a screaming Kenny in the back, she glances over at Ruby and brakes. She rolls her window down but doesn’t say anything, just stares at Ruby, taking in the moment like a snapshot that she can pocket and take home with her.

“Hate you.” Beth says, softly.

“Hate your face.”

And then she drives off, leaving Ruby without really leaving her.

**\----*----**

Alone and unable to contain her excitement, Ruby calls Stan to come home early, telling him it’s an emergency and as soon as he bursts through the front door, she pulls him into a passionate kiss and makes love to him on the living room floor.

“ _Wow._ ” Stan sighs, after they finished for the second time. He languidly rolls over on his side and props his head up with a fist. “See, I definitely wasn’t expecting all this when you said emergency. Had my heart beating, wondering what could have happened to my baby.”

Ruby’s toes curl, and she chews on the thought if she should wait. Her stomach flutters then, their baby, and she decides she can’t wait a second more.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Already?” Stan hums in amusement, trailing a finger up and down her stomach. “Thought it’d take a couple days at least.”

“No, Stan.” Ruby laughs, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. “I’m _pregnant_.”

Stan starts to laugh but stops, when there’s no answering echo of her own to ring with his, and his brows furrow, trying to process what she just said.

It’s her favorite show, she decides, watching the different emotions flash across his face before he swallows down a breath and searches her eyes.

“Don’t play with me now.” It’s phrased as a warning, but she can hear the caged hope through his gritted teeth and because Ruby hears him too, she hears it for what it really is: a plea. But the time for unanswered pleas are over so Ruby shakes her head, tears cresting at the corner of eyes, giving permission for that hope to take flight and watches as Stan tentatively looks down to where his hand lays atop the curve of her belly.

“I’m going to be a daddy?” His voice wobbles, low and shaky, and warm tears burst through the dam of his eyes and onto her skin. Of course, it would be the deliverance of hope and not the departure of it that finally breaks this immoveable man to tears.

She nods, reaching down to cup his face, wiping the trail of his tears away with her thumbs, as he’s done to her so many, many times before. “We’re going to be parents, Stanley.”

And it’s de ja vu, that moment, when he looks up at her, his eyes wide with wonder and something _else_ , something _new_ and it doesn’t need to be said (it never does), some unspoken agreement passes between them, that _this_ , that _them_ , that forever is _possible_ and _here_.

After all, she’s holding it in the palms of her hands. They both are.

**Author's Note:**

> Take a shot for every time I wrote forever. 
> 
> (Please don't, you'll die.)


End file.
